Dear Dana (because we all need to remind ourselves of a thing or two),
Honest. Sometimes when I hear of someone talking about pursuing their passions, doing great things, exciting things, fun things, I get upset. Not mad, but frustratingly sad. I used to be that girl who traveled, did big things, met interesting people, always had a dream.
See me get jealous of my younger self. Because now here I sit– beside a huge pile of clean unfolded laundry, sending kids back to bed after chaotic goodnights, ready to pass out as soon as I hit the pillow, only to welcome a little person into my bed in the middle of the night (because I’m not coherent enough to send him back to bed) then wake to my alarm before anyone else’s feet hit the floor. I’ll cook. I’ll clean. I’ll teach. I’ll discipline. I’ll answer a few hundred questions and laugh a few dozen times. I’ll wipe pee off of the toilet just so I can use it and listen to brothers argue over objects. I’ll wish for a date with my husband only to remember that that’s only a luxury. The price to be paid for being a full-time homemaker in a two-income world.
There’s nothing grand. My dreams are few.
I don’t know when I stopped dreaming big. I wonder when I let passions slip through my fingers. But more than anything, I wonder when my perspective changed. When I was young, all I wanted to be was a wife and mommy. Somewhere along the way, “exciting things” became the norm. Then I came full circle– and became a wife and mom. And that was enough.
But I hear the Enemy’s lies that I’m missing out and I start to believe it. Yet I know that I’m not really missing anything.
How are any of my crazy dreams more important than having these little men love me like crazy? How could I dare think that adventuring without them would bring any joy at all? Who can make me laugh harder or smile more often than cute little voices who always have something to share?
These cute faces belong to the little men that I am training to be mighty warriors for a King much greater than my silly whims. There is nothing menial about a mama’s job. Our time is so short with these precious people. I don’t want to wish it away or want something else.
I want to show these boys Christ. Teach them to see Him in all things and love Him well. I want their hearts to be tender towards Him and ready to follow when He draws them.
Nothing is more important than that.
Nothing is more exciting.
Be content and enjoy the life God’s given you.